My Story

When I was 16 I was diagnosed with Hypothyroidism. This is a type of thyroid disease that pretty much just means my thyroid gland works slower than it should. It makes my metabolism the speed of an 80 year old women {in the words of me} and it can effect things like my energy level, my body temp, and other small things like my hair and what not. When this first happened to me, I gained 30 pounds and I was devastated. For a junior in high school with self esteem issues, this was a living nightmare. 

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After a long while of still having symptoms despite the medicine I was on, I found out I also have something called IBS. Again, this pretty much means my body’s digestive system is as slow as -you guessed it- an 80 year old women! Haha

Throughout the 3 years of dealing with this, I’ve also dealt with some self image issues. For a long time I’ve thought I needed to be perfectly healthy and fit. I’ve tried a lot of different workout programs and just different ways of being healthy in general. Not only did I want to be perfect, but i would be really hard on myself if I didn’t succeed at perfect.

I’ve also tried to be perfect in different areas of my life, people pleasing for example. I’ve often found my self worth in how other people view me. If people saw me as nice, sweet, godly, joyful, then I thought of myself as okay. Then it got even worse, and I no longer waited for other people to view me negatively. I started assuming their thoughts, and my assumptions were usually negative {and probably wrong}.

For at least 2 years of this whole ordeal I was constantly fighting God’s small voice telling me to just be still. Then I started college. My worst fear about starting college was that I would drift from God. I’m extremely thankful God turned that fear into something good; it was that fear that made me determined to stay strong in my faith. With my abiding becoming more regular, His voice got louder. This past 6 months, it’s been undeniable that I had to let go. Still, the stubborn flesh in me kept fighting it. I still needed to be perfect.

This past month though, thankfully, His voice has become so deeply engrained in me that I can no longer deny it. He has always made His love for me clear, but now I’ve finally started to listen.

I am so thankful for these bumps in my life. They have taught me a lot of things; one being that heaven is a beautiful sinless place, and I am so extremely excited that one day I will walk there with Jesus and I will be so overjoyed simply to be in His presence that I won’t even remember, let alone care, that during my short life I had digestive problems, self image issues, and a good case of perfectionism.

It’s also taught me that sometimes, or all the time, the devil likes to us distraction has his technic to stray us away from the truth and purpose of our existence.

You see, I wasn’t born to achieve societies view of “skinny” or “beautiful”, however I was born to know Christ and make Him known.

Most of my posts center around this very topic- letting go of the world and clinging to the truth of Jesus Christ. As I go about my relationship with Him, things become so much more simple. As I’ve stated, I like to be a perfectionist and complicate life. But all that really matters is Jesus. That sounds so cheesy, but really all of the things we all obsess over are the distractions.

These small obstacles have also inspired a deep passion inside of me to empower those around me to no longer listen to the devils lies. My message I now love to send is ~JOY~ because a Jesus kind of joy comes from the Promise Keeper Himself, and that joy inspires the others fruits inside of us, and those fruits are what help people see Jesus in our hearts.

Romans 12:2~

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

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